A letter to Jennifer from Lindsey- too precious not to share:
I hope you like the angel I sent. If you didn't notice, she is broken (ha)...
I love this broken angel. She was one of five different angels I received after our accident. The angels have joyful or serene expressions, but this one is different because of her broken spot. She has been wounded and is different from the other angels but keeps her faith in God (you know how I have to personify and simplify everything).
After our accident, everything was broken into pieces. Everything changed. I was so different. I needed "accomodations" (a dreaded word!). I was no longer who I was and had to find my identity in I AM. Before, life was comfortable and manageable. I knew how to live my life. Then God changed it, upside-downed it, and even as I thought I was finding my way back to who I was, I wasn't! These words are getting tricky! I don't do grammar. Living in and for Him was all I could do. Living for myself didn't work anymore because I didn't even know myself. I guess that's one way God can take the "self sin" out of life!
I know that our experiences are completely different and our personalities are pretty different. We all wish we could do something to spare you pain, swelling, rashes, headaches, medicines, treatments.... While so many lives are indirectly affected through this, it's different being "the patient." You are going through the process of becoming a different kind of angel (I know we aren't angels but just go with it). I finally accepted that even though I was broken into pieces, God loved the pieces. I didn't know what to do with them but trusted God did.
I love you,
"And God said to Moses, ' I AM who I AM.' And he said, 'Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, 'I AM has sent me to you.'" Exodus 3:14
As of last week, Jennifer's immune system was showing signs of strengthening and her white blood cell count was on the climb. One of the lead doctors commented that it looks as though her marrow is beginning to engraft. She is cautiously hopeful while remaining acutely aware that she is not out of the woods yet. Jen was sent home from the hospital on Monday, February 6. Mom felt that Jen made the transition remarkably well. She goes into clinic each morning to have lab work done to monitor her progress. This morning her cyclosporine levels were found to be low due to a prescription error. Cyclosporine is what will help her body fight graft vs. host disease. When the levels were found low the docs thought it best to readmit Jen. They are confident they can right the error and get her levels back up where they want them. She will be in the hospital for another couple days though. Please pray the cyclosporine levels come up, that her body continues to get stronger and that her immune system will sufficiently protect her from any potential infection she may come into contact with during another hospital visit. Pray that that she will physically, mentally and emotionally handle the strain of being jostled between hospital and home. Pray her heart will be ministered to by the Father during yet another trial. Thank you for your prayers.